So you’ve landed your dream job, you’re moving to a new city and know no one and the fear is starting to sink in.
Embracing city life in a destination foreign to you can be so challenging and intimidating. Today, I have such a treat for you! I have interviewed four of my friends who live in four major cities across the country and asked them how they made new friends in the city, where the popular spots are and everything you need to know about meeting people in a new city!
DALLAS
Sarah N.
“Become a ‘Yes Man.’ It doesn’t matter if its out of your comfort zone, not your thing, if you get invited, go! You’ll stay busy and probably find some new things you like!”
Why did you choose your city and what is your absolute favorite part about living there?
As a California native, I traded my flip flops for cowboy boots when I first went to college at TCU (GO FROGS!) When graduation came around I wasn’t ready to give up saying “y’all” and I was fortunate enough to land an amazing job and Dallas! Some of the things that appealed to me was obviously the job market and the affordability of Dallas, but also how young the city is! I live in a pocket of the city that is almost entirely young professionals (and crawling with boys in suits) so I was pretty sold. Also being so close to a major international airport, I could justify my travel addiction.
Did you know anyone when you moved and how was the adjustment in making new friends?
Luckily, I did have a lot of college friends that made the move to Dallas with me! But since I was one of the only single ladies of the group, I really wanted to prioritize branching out of my comfort zone and make some additional Dallas friends! Come to find out… I have an above normal social stamina so making diverse and multiple friend groups has helped keep me busy!
What advice would you give someone moving to a new city trying to meet new people?
- Biggest advice… Be A Yes Man! It doesn’t matter if its out of your comfort zone, not “your thing,” you’re tired, don’t know anyone– if you get invited, go! You’ll 1) stay busy, 2) probably find some new things you like, and 3) just become more well rounded.
- Don’t be afraid to reach out and “lady flirt.” Making friends as an adult is HARD! So if you meet someone you vibe with, don’t be afraid to ask for their insta or number, I promise no one will think it’s weird! Ask them to have a wine night, grab dinner, go to yoga, whatever–I met my best friends by going up to them at a brunch and inviting them to day drink after (shoutout to liquid courage on that one.) Most people that already have friend groups just don’t think to reach out, so don’t be afraid to initiate!
- Join some groups, and be consistent. If you are going to group functions consistently, it’s waaaay easier to naturally build a friendship without walking straight up to someone. Some of the places I made some solid friendships was an outdoor volleyball league, I found a great church and joined a serve team and a connect group, I started going to the same yoga and spin classes and introduced myself to the instructors, trivia nights, and joined some networking clubs!
- When in doubt, app it up! Now, I think finding solid girl friends is crucial, but when you first move to a city, utilizing hinge is a great way to keep busy and get to know the city. When I first moved to Dallas, I was going on 2-3 dates a week out of pure boredom (also, really helped with my grocery bills 😉 One word of caution, if you do meet a great guy when you first move, don’t make him your entire world. Still make your own friends and have your own life. Worst thing is a year into moving you hit a bad break up and lose your bae and your friend group!
Are there any super social spots in your city that are a great place to meet people?
I think anything in daylight is the key to making friends: outdoor bars, park yoga, networking events. I also joined a social club here in Dallas, whose sole purpose is to meet people and literally be social. Look for groups where the core is connecting, makes it waaaayyyy easier to approach people.
How have you worked to keep friendships during the COVID-19 Pandemic?
COVID has definitely put it’s damper on my social calendar (like everyone.) I personally used some of this down time to connect with some friends not in Dallas and spend time with my family. But to drive my social outlet, I have a big supporter of virtual happy hours, and virtual groups. For example, with my church I joined a virtual small group to stay connected during all this COVID craziness. The hardest part has been dating. I’ve tried a few walking dates, let’s just say it was a tad… awkward. So if anyone has tips please let me know!
Ok, now tell us your top 3 best places to eat in your city?
Oooooh this is hard because I am such a foodie and Dallas always has new spots. I LOVE HG in Lower Greenville because not only is the food amazing and healthy, but the ambiance is a great place to meet people. The rooftop is a great place and mingle with singles on a Friday night.
One of my all time favorite pizza places is Cane Rosso in Deep Ellum. 10000% order the honey bastard on their secret menu. Cane is also right next to a bunch of live music spots and fun outdoor bars. Pro Tip: after your pizza, walk around the corner and take a cider sake bomb at Trinity Cider, tiny little place so if you hang out long enough you will definitely meet some people!
I think 95% of my diet is sushi, and Blue Sushi on Mckinney in Uptown is one of my all time favs. They also have great happy hour, and even reverse if you want to go late night. I highly highly suggest the Lion King roll (with a side of sake:)
CHICAGO
Emma
“Give yourself grace, you don’t need to have a group chat of 20 people to have a fulfilling social life! You have to work at it and fake it till you make it.”
Why did you choose your city and what is your absolute favorite part about living there?
I grew up in the suburbs of Chicago and was always so in love with the city. After going to college in Texas for four years and traveling to other cities I realized everywhere always paled in comparison to Chicago.
My favorite part about living here is all the different neighborhoods. Unlike other cities, there isn’t one or two “cool” neighborhoods for young people. Each part of the city is so unique and has it’s own personality. Also the people are so kind and genuine, the restaurant and bar scenes are INCREDIBLE and not needing a car is so fun! It’s basically a cleaner, slightly less overwhelming version of NYC.
Did you know anyone when you moved and how was the adjustment in making new friends?
Sort of. My situation was unique because I went to high school in the Chicago area but then went to Texas for college. So when I moved back to the city I didn’t really want to just re-do high school, I was really set on meeting new people and forging a new path of adulthood (it sounds cheesy but it’s the truth!) Honestly at first it was hard, but I learned it’s all about creating opportunities for yourself.
What advice would you give someone moving to a new city trying to meet new people?
Create opportunities for yourself! If someone invites you out GO, even if that means going alone. Make a Bumble BFF! Ask coworkers to grab drinks! Talk to people in your workout class! If a friend of a friend knows someone in your new city, ask them to connect you guys! It’s honestly like networking for a job, you have to work at it and fake it till you make it.
Also I think it’s important to remember that it’s so normal in adulthood to NOT have plans every single night and to have Friday nights where nothing is going on. Social media is such a highlight reel of people’s lives, but no one shows the nights their plans fell through and they ended up watching Netflix documentaries in the bathtub. So give yourself grace, you don’t need to have a group chat of 20 people to have a fulfilling social life!
Are there any super social spots in your city that are a great place to meet people?
Things are a little different now with COVID-19 but Chicago is such a good city for day drinking which is a great atmosphere to meet people.
Best day-drinking/hangout spots for people in their 20’s:
-Happy Camper (Wrigleyville and Old Town)
-Paradise Park (Wicker Park)
-Old Crow (Wrigleyville)
-Benchmark (Old Town)
-Recess (West Loop)
-Utopian Tailgate (Lincoln Park)
Also I think workout classes can be great, I used to do Core Power in Gold Coast and now I do Orange Theory in Lincoln Park. It’s easy to start up a conversation and bond over how hard the workout was. If nothing else, it’s a good way to be around people when you’re feeling lonely.
How have you worked to keep friendships during the COVID-19 Pandemic?
I love walking and I love talking on the phone. So especially when everything was shut down, I would just go on really long walks and call friends and talk for hours. It’s a good incentive to get out of your apartment, be active and it makes it easier to focus on the conversation (as opposed to texting or FaceTiming while you’re making dinner/working/distracted).
Ok, now tell us your top 3 best places to eat in your city?
-Etta
-La Josies
-Pacific Standard Time (if you have the opportunity (aka budget) to do the “market menu” ever it’s AMAZING)
-Luxbar (get the kale avocado salad and a spicy marg, I promise you won’t be disappointed)
NEW YORK
Rachel
“Never burn any bridges, and continue to develop relationships with people each time you see them. You have to give yourself time, but naturally your circle will grow!”
Why did you choose your city and what is your absolute favorite part about living there?
I first played with the idea of living in NYC following my PR internship in the city between Junior and Senior year of college. Originally I never thought I could handle the city, but once I successfully lived there for a summer I really grew to love it! I work in the fashion industry, so truly it’s the best place for me to be professionally.
One of the best parts of NYC is that there are always so many fun things to do – whether it’s picnicking in the parks, going shopping on Fifth Ave, hitting a comedy club, seeing a Broadway show, or going out with friends downtown, you’ll never get bored!
Did you know anyone when you moved and how was the adjustment in making new friends?
I was lucky enough to have my high school best friend move to the city after graduation! I also knew a few people from TCU (where I attended college) who ended up moving to NY, so I was able to connect with them as well. I never felt stressed about meeting new people in NYC as I was able to build relationships through work and social events!
What advice would you give someone moving to a new city trying to meet new people?
I always say that meeting friends of friends is a great place to start. Going out to dinner or to a bar is so much more fun with a bigger group! Never burn any bridges, and continue to develop relationships with people each time you see them. You have to give yourself time, but naturally your circle will grow! Also, many of my friends have joined social clubs with large events to meet people!
Are there any super social spots in your city that are a great place to meet people?
Like in other cities, I would say I meet the most people through work, at house parties/restaurant/bars, or in my apartment building. I also love a good concert, so I tend to interact with people there as well! You’d also be surprised how many friends you can make while waiting in a line… and there are plenty of long lines in NYC (for any touristy attraction)!!
How have you worked to keep friendships during the COVID-19 pandemic?
I’ve been living on a lake during the pandemic, and I was able to recruit four of my close college friends to drive 6 hours to see me! We had such a fun, long weekend catching up and taking a Covid-19 breather as my town hasn’t been hit hard by the virus. I’ve also enjoyed keeping up with people through social media, as it’s so interesting to see how everyone’s lives have changed! I’ve been able to chat with my NYC friends to see when we’ll all be back in the city.
Ok, now tell us your top 3 best places to eat in your city?
Carbone, Catch, and Sadelle’s! But really it’s too hard to pick 3 favorites in the city…. 🙂
LOS ANGELES
Sarah S.
“Go to new places, don’t be shy and always say yes to an invitation.”
Why did you choose your city and what is your absolute favorite part about living there?
I grew up in Pasadena right next to the Rose Bowl so moving back to LA after graduating from TCU was always my plan. I did consider staying in Dallas for a bit but deep down knew I would end up back in LA. My entire immediate and extended family live in California which is the main reason I decided to move home. I also realized I couldn’t live without the California beaches for any longer!
Besides my family and the beach, my favorite part about LA is that there is always something to do or somewhere new to eat (pre quarantine that is). From hiking to shopping to simply taking a drive up the coast you will never get bored. Something fun and unique is that you can literally go to the mountains to ski in the morning and still make it to the beach in time for a sunset swim—I have yet to do this but it is for sure on my bucket list!
Did you know anyone when you moved and how was the adjustment in making new friends?
Because I grew up in LA I did already have a lot of friends in the area. However, when I moved to Brentwood about a year after I graduated I did want to make some new friends too. I currently live with my best friend since we were 13 and one of her college girlfriends which made the adjustment pretty easy. We all had mutual friends but also were able to each bring new friends into the group!
What advice would you give someone moving to a new city trying to meet new people?
Go to new places, don’t be shy and always say yes to an invitation. My roommates and I joined a kickball team which was so much fun and I met so many new people. Definitely try and find something like this in your city!
Are there any super social spots in your city that are a great place to meet people?
LA and particularly the Santa Monica/Venice area has so many social spots where you can meet new people. While it’s a little more difficult right now with the pandemic and most places being closed when this is all overI have no doubt people will be ready to mingle at these spots! Oceanfront, Big Deans, The Bungalow— all outside and close to the beach. Oceanfront is right on the Venice boardwalk which makes for good people watching while enjoying a drink. My favorite spot to go at night is Jameson’s in Venice, it is an Irish pub that has live music on the weekends. If you like live music you are sure to enjoy this bar. But if this isn’t for you just head up or down from Jameson’s on Main St and you are guaranteed to find another spot.
How have you worked to keep friendships during the COVID-19 Pandemic?
It has been really nice to be able to spend so much more time with my two roommates. From binging Tiger King, lots of coloring books and wine walks around the neighborhood I genuinely have enjoyed the extra time I’ve had with them. In terms of my other friendships I have tried to reach out whether that’s over text, call or FaceTime. Zoom happy hours were definitely a thing in my apartment!
Ok, now tell us your top 3 best places to eat in your city?
Elephante! Not only is the food great but the vibes and view make it worth it especially if you are new to the area. It is located on a top floor with a view of the Santa Monica pier and beach. Some might say it’s “Boujee” but a great place to get dressed up for a night out with good friends! You MUST get the Whipped Eggplant it will not disappoint and the Sopressata pizza is my fave!
Kazunori is my ALL TIME favorite sushi. There are three locations, one in DTLA, Santa Monica a block from the beach and Westwood right next to UCLA. It is a hand roll only bar with about 20 seats so the wait might be around the corner but I promise you it is worth it. My roommate and I would go at least once a week before the pandemic but I still get my kazu fix by ordering takeout every week.
Picking a third is just too hard so instead here is a list of some of my favorites:
The Butcher’s Daughter—on Abbot Kinney in Venice
Din Tai Fung
The Rose Venice
Flake— great for breakfast
Blue Plate Taco
Honestly, there are sooo many great restaurants in LA that I’ve wanted to try since moving to the Westside but will have to wait till the pandemic is over
Moving to a new city is hard, but I really hope these tips can help you! I have admired these friends for their abilities to make the most of living in a new city and thought it would be so fun to see different perspectives from different cities! I hope you enjoyed reading this as much I as I did interviewing these girls and putting this together. I love these kinds of posts because I think they really have the potential to make an impact and help girls going through similar life stages.
Be on the look out for more posts like this very soon! I have another one planned for September!
Thanks for reading!
xoxo,
Zoe